Once, I heard the first lady of the United States say, “The question that I do not like to hear young people asked is, ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?” She went on to say that she still does not know. I have often had the same thought…I do not know what I want to be when I grow up. I have completed a career (in teaching), begun another in the non-profit sector and still wake up excited about the possibilities that a new venture holds. My three beautiful children have affectionately nick-named me “Peter Pan“. Partly, because I jump around a lot. There was no diagnosis for ADHA in the 50’s.
Maybe, because I am 5 feet 1 inch tall and still get really giddy when I see a rainbow. More likely it is because, I refuse to get old and settle into what life seems to have dealt me. Every time I teach something new to students, whether teaching ballet, tutoring a reading student or counselling a college student, I seem to discover something new about myself and about life itself.
I do not know what I want to be when I grow up because…..I am resisting the whole idea of growing up. I have observed grown-ups. Their glasses are half empty and evaporating rapidly. They accept things like being over weight and arthritis and digestive disorders and being out-of-the-loop of technology as if they are the trophies of decades breathing. The more decades they have breathed, the more they gladly invite on their person. Um……NO! Why do people even grow up if that is what they have to look forward too?
So, I prefer to think of so called “middle-aged-spread” as natures way to tell me to wake-up and pay attention to my body. It’s time to modify the intake of empty calories and increase the exercise level. I see graying hair as a token of longevity or a call to get a make-over. Make-overs are fun! The desire for a red convertible is more than the mark of a “crises”. It is actually a reminder that I no longer need to make room for a car-seat and I might actually be able to use that empty-nest-extra-cash for a really big shiny toy. As for that (ahem) new relationship…I can become the new person in the relationship or if that dose not quite work out, I just might embrace the possibility of becoming a cougar. Ha Ha That is new!
I heard someone say today, “Life is not certain, eat desert first.” (Then, be prepared to exercise, of course)
I guess this rant is just to say, “LIVE, for-goodness-sake”. Life is amazing. God, The Universe is amazing. If anyone or anything has tried to drain you of your desire to live and grow. If circumstances have caused you to forget your child-like-ness. If you think that age or environment or relationships or detours have made you forget that life is new EVERYDAY. Know this, literally, everyday is a re-birth. Yesterday is irrelevant if you have a fresh thought today. Yesterday was merely a stepping stone to today. You survived yesterday just so you could get to today. 20-30-40’s were preparation for the 50’s, 60’s, 70’, and 80’s.
I am so excited!!! I don’t think I will grow up today either. I will receive the morning air as a kiss from God. I will feel the wind as an embrace that I have never felt. I will listen for a new sound in an old song. I will try to have some new experience today even if it is as simple as walking into a new shop to see what it smells like. (I do not have to buy anything)
Middle-age brings so many new possibilities, adventures even angles.
So, I am going to decide what I want to be when I grow up and then do it without the growing up part.